Three Makes Baby Podcast

Holiday Edition: 5 Ways to Deal with Questions from Family

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-efxwj-cbf3d1

Conversation at holiday family gatherings can trigger unexpected emotions, especially if you’ve been trying to conceive.
Aunt Alice asks you when you’re going to have a baby or your pregnant cousin, Amanda, joke-brags about how she gets pregnant by just looking at her husband.
Anyone who doesn’t go down a so-called “normal” path to parenthood has encountered many types of questions: the curious, the intrusive, the rude, and the uninformed.
Why can’t you have a child? Why did you decide to do that? Why don’t you just _____(relax/be happy/ adopt/ try acupuncture)?
How do you handle these questions? The first strategy I offer my clients is to consider the person’s intention. Was it an innocent question or not-so-innocent? Is the questioner being caring, curious, clueless or careless?
The exercise is also detailed in my book Three Makes Baby.

Three Makes Baby Podcast

Ally, Host of Half of Me Podcast; Reflections & Growth Over the Past Year

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-eqzyf-cbb53a

Ally discovered she was donor conceived in January 2019. Since then, she has discovered over a dozen half-siblings and is still coming to terms with her new reality. Ally discusses the complexities of discovering and managing relationships with multiple half-siblings and “the process” of growth she has gone through. She shares things she would do differently now that almost a year has past since her discovery. Ironically, Ally also discovered this year that she and her husband would need treatment to have a baby, as her parents did 30 years ago. Ally, compassionately reflects on what her parents must have gone through, especially now that she is facing infertility herself.

 

Three Makes Baby Podcast

Fran Regrets Keeping Her Daughter’s Donor Conception a Secret

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-bq5fg-cad4fe

Thirty years ago, Fran’s fertility doctor told to keep her donor conception a secret. She headed that advice against her intuition but when her daughter found out the truth as an adult, she regretted not being honest with her from the start. Grief and anger came up all over again. Fran describes the late discovery as disorienting to the entire family. She had to remember the good times by playing old cassette tapes again. Ultimately, Fran realized that her daughter needed her understanding. “It wasn’t about me, it was about her. I was still her mother, I was still the adult in this relationship.”  Fran says that, “People like me that have older children, have to join forces to make things for the better.” 
Three Makes Baby Podcast

Angela Use Art to Help Heal Self and Others after Miscarriage

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ap9qj-c78538

What happens when 100 people collaborate to express their experiences around miscarriage? Listen to this epi to find out.

Infertility grief isn’t widely recognized or understood by the public. Learn about the grieving process and why miscarriage after infertility is a more complicated type of grief.

Three Makes Baby Podcast

How Brittney Let Go of the Child They Couldn’t Have Together

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-yzxfb-c70da3

Therapy helped Brittney accept that her and her husband’s baby would not share DNA with her. She shares how she had to let go of the fantasy children that she wouldn’t have, so she could accept the baby that was coming. She believes she’s going to get the ‘“little soul” she was meant to have. 
Also, discussed in this episode are the epigenetic misconceptions that lead mother’s to believe they could pass their DNA on to their egg donor conceived baby. We talk about making an extra effort to help your child feel like they are part of the tribe when they are genetically different. 

Music: Half Mystery by Kevin Macleod