Three Makes Baby Podcast

Holiday Edition: 5 Ways to Deal with Questions from Family

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-efxwj-cbf3d1

Conversation at holiday family gatherings can trigger unexpected emotions, especially if you’ve been trying to conceive.
Aunt Alice asks you when you’re going to have a baby or your pregnant cousin, Amanda, joke-brags about how she gets pregnant by just looking at her husband.
Anyone who doesn’t go down a so-called “normal” path to parenthood has encountered many types of questions: the curious, the intrusive, the rude, and the uninformed.
Why can’t you have a child? Why did you decide to do that? Why don’t you just _____(relax/be happy/ adopt/ try acupuncture)?
How do you handle these questions? The first strategy I offer my clients is to consider the person’s intention. Was it an innocent question or not-so-innocent? Is the questioner being caring, curious, clueless or careless?
The exercise is also detailed in my book Three Makes Baby.

Three Makes Baby Podcast

Ally, Host of Half of Me Podcast; Reflections & Growth Over the Past Year

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-eqzyf-cbb53a

Ally discovered she was donor conceived in January 2019. Since then, she has discovered over a dozen half-siblings and is still coming to terms with her new reality. Ally discusses the complexities of discovering and managing relationships with multiple half-siblings and “the process” of growth she has gone through. She shares things she would do differently now that almost a year has past since her discovery. Ironically, Ally also discovered this year that she and her husband would need treatment to have a baby, as her parents did 30 years ago. Ally, compassionately reflects on what her parents must have gone through, especially now that she is facing infertility herself.

 

Three Makes Baby Podcast

Fran Regrets Keeping Her Daughter’s Donor Conception a Secret

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-bq5fg-cad4fe

Thirty years ago, Fran’s fertility doctor told to keep her donor conception a secret. She headed that advice against her intuition but when her daughter found out the truth as an adult, she regretted not being honest with her from the start. Grief and anger came up all over again. Fran describes the late discovery as disorienting to the entire family. She had to remember the good times by playing old cassette tapes again. Ultimately, Fran realized that her daughter needed her understanding. “It wasn’t about me, it was about her. I was still her mother, I was still the adult in this relationship.”  Fran says that, “People like me that have older children, have to join forces to make things for the better.”