If hope is a dirty word to you, you’re not alone. Having your hopes crushed is heart breaking and it’s hard (and scary) to muster up the feeling. What if your hopes are crushed again? The ups and downs of infertility treatments can be so discouraging that you may lose hope all together. That means you could be paying thousands of dollars on something you no longer believe in.
What to do? It may sound weird but I don’t encourage my clients to hope again. I know it’s too painful but I also don’t want them to lose hope completely. So, where do you go from there? To an in between place, a place between hope and no hope. Most of us have no idea what that is. Think of it as neutral. Neutral isn’t where you think about the future or past. It’s more like being in the moment. It’s an exercise and a skill you can develop with practice. I bet you would like an example so I have one for you! I developed an exercise called Sit and Soak that will walk you through an exercise in neutral. I originally created it to help clients with mindful eating and it works really well for that too. It’s going to take some time and practice but this is a good place to start. To get a copy of the Sit and Soak exercise straight to your inbox, click here.
About the Author
Jana M. Rupnow, MA, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor and consultant specializing in fertility and family building. Jana has helped hundreds of people facing the challenges of infertility as well as those preparing for third-party family building and adoption.
Jana works independently in private practice in Dallas, Texas. She has built relationships with fertility doctors across the country to help their patients with the psychological challenges of donation conception prior to medical intervention. She works with couples, parents, donors, agencies, and endocrinologists across the nation in her Dallas offices and via Skype or FaceTime. Jana also helps parents learn to communicate with their children about donor conception and serves as a liaison for communication between donor-conceived or adoptive families and genetic or birth parents.
She is a speaker and a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine’s Mental Health Group and a professional member of the National Infertility Association, Resolve. Jana has a clinical background in physiology and has published articles through Baylor University Medical Center.
Jana is also an adoptee and adoptive mom. She and her husband, Scott, live in Dallas with their son, Caden, and daughter, Jade, and two goldendoodles, Oliver and Chloe.
For consultation, counseling, training for professionals, or a speaking engagement, email Jana@JanaRupnow.com or learn more on JanaRupnow.com. Follow Jana Rupnow on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter @janarupnowlpc.
View all posts by Jana M. Rupnow, LPC
If hope is a dirty word to you, you’re not alone. Having your hopes crushed is heart breaking and it’s hard (and scary) to muster up the feeling. What if your hopes are crushed again? The ups and downs of infertility treatments can be so discouraging that you may lose hope all together. That means you could be paying thousands of dollars on something you no longer believe in.
